Interview Transcript

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Okay, so we're gonna start again. This is Judy.

Tell me about your...um interest in art and how old you were when you started taking an interest in art.

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Um, I wasn't like of those kids that took an interest in art like ever since they were young like, they were like, they'd say things like say things like "Oh I first started drawing like ever since I was a little kid" or "Ever since I could hold like a pencil" or something like that.

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But for me, it was like not the same case because honestly, I didn't even discover art until like the sixth grade 'cause in the sixth grade I was like finally- I was like introduced to like to like man- like manga or manga? *laughter*

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Um, ever since I was introduced to that, like I really took an interest in the artstyle and the storytelling, that kind of just sparked my interest  in drawing overall; and like ever since then I've been like drawing somewhat but I didn't really take it all that serious until like college I would say because after I reached college I was like "Oh you're a piece of sh*t compared to everybody else like look at that person, they're only like 16 years old and look how good they are you suck".

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Because it kinda makes me realize how I wasn't as passionate as like them and like how they put so much more effort like- compared to me and that would somewhat motima- ugh- motivate me to like practice more, but uhh it's pretty hard 'cause school and college is um, kinda really tires me out and it kinda kills my energy to like actually do art so...yeah.

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I'm thinking about...how to expand on that. How do you think that...basically, how do you think that maybe you can...manage your time more...? To focus more on your art. Do you wanna answer that? Or should I ask a different question?

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*off mic* I can try.

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Um, one way I kinda do try is like I get really self-conscious if there's like people around me and if they see me draw 'cause it makes me feel really iffy about it is oh I'm doing a terrible job right now. Um, the days when I actually do practice is usually when I'm at home and like I'm fully rested up and like, I got enough sleep, I ate enough food and then I'll finally have the energy to draw. But sometimes, it's really just the motivation 'cause I know when I'm actually like really motivated that one day, I just produce some amazing ass sh*t.

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So, I know...hm...I'm gonna ask you what or who inspired you to start drawing, even though you already said it was manga, but I think I kinda want you to expand on that.

So like my first inspirations to draw were basically like manga, or manga. But like, honestly, like yeah manga did inspire me to draw but then eventually started like, I was introduced to like the internet and people actually posted their art on the internet, and then I would find like some users that had this like specific art style that like actually really liked.

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And in a way kinda like motivated me to like be like, "Oh I wanna be like them, I want my artstyle to be like theirs so I would somewhat say I would copy their artstyle a little bit, I know that's like a really bad thing in like the art community because like you can steal somebody's art style and people get mad about that, but the thing is like I kinda like, like I took a little bit of somebody's artstyle and off of that I just kinda like developed it into my own.

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I wouldn't say I have like one specific inspiration because, like, 'cause I remember the people like, our idols back then, but the thing is my idols changed from time to time. It's like, oh at first it was like this art, this anime artist then next it was this other anime artist, and now like, it's kinda like, wishy washy, 'cause like the current artist now like, she's like an anime artist I really admire. Her name is like Yukibun...? Like I actually really admire her like, drawing style and her coloring because it's like so visually appealing, but the thing is like I feel like she really needs to work on her composition, but other than that, it's like really amazing.

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Um...so...umm...I guess I should ask, um how do you feel, how do you feel when you're doing your art? Like, do it make you, does it calm you down, does it energize you somehow, does it basically, what-what what goes through your mind or like what emotions does making art and drawing bring out?

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When I draw, like it actually depends, cause sometimes when I draw I get really frustrated and like, angry that I can't make like a certain part of this drawing like correct. Like other times, when I'm feeling sad or angry, mostly sad or angry, I kinda like draw it out and it kinda like makes me feel like better and it makes it feel like alleviated. It's like "oh it's okay if I'm like angry, I'll probably just draw a person killing somebody or something like that". So, it really depends, but it does make feel really good, like afterwards, after I'm done. and sometimes when I produce like a really good drawing, it's like I look at it and I feel like really good about myself and it's like "wow I actually made something like that." It's like "oh I made that". um...

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Um... do you think that your art is the most important thing in your life and if you do think that, why do you feel that way about it?

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Like, I feel like art is really important to me. I feel like honestly if I can't draw anymore, like, if I lost both my hands in a car accident and they can't move, I'll probably go and kill myself *laughs* I don't know if that should be included but like, yeah it's really important to me 'cause- i don't know like just the thought of me like not drawing my characters anymore kinda makes me really sad  because like some of these characters I had them for like 6 years or- lemme think- um three, no wait four, five, six, seven, eight.

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I had some of them like for like around nine years or so, so. I don't know, since they've been with me for so long they kinda have like a personality of their own and like, it kinda developed on its own and like sometimes I like think about them it's like "Oh how would they act" and like sometimes like based on their reactions I'll probably like just draw it out and like it really makes me feel good it's like "Oh, these are my babies" like I gave them life. And then like yeah. *laughs*

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Okay, I think have to figure out how to give this a middle and an end so can you talk about...*background noise* okay so um... I wanted to give th- I wanted to figure out how to give this a middle and an end so maybe...uh talk about some conflicts that you've overcome when doing your art and drawing uh can you go into that?

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*cough* Um...like, for me, I never really faced any conflict in art because I know for some people they kinda just stopped doing a certain hobby because they're not making any progress or it's not gonna be beneficial for them in the future. Like for me, like it really affected me in any way because I knew like even though I'm like a really bad artist right now I knew I was gonna improve and if I keep working hard I'm gonna get better of course but there are like some people in the art world who like I don't know, like in the digital art world or anime art world, I know some of them just give up because they're like "oh I don't see a future in this" or like they do- or like they do pursue their passions like in art and drawing, they do go to art school and then like some of the art teachers there they'll like just destroy them and like crush their passion

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and if- and if that like destroys their passion in a way it kinda makes me feel like really angry because like in a way it's kinda like "oh you let something like that crush you in a way it seems like you never really did have a passion in art and I feel like it's like such a weak reason 'cause like I feel like it should be like an important part of you like and not just like a feeble thing that can easily be destroyed. So like that never really happened to me so it didn't really affect me in any way and in a way that's like and like people who pursue their, like their passion and art like that's really admirable but like I don't know, in a perfect world, I would like totally do that

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I would like totally do that I would pursue it but the thing is that this is not the perfect world and in art it's really hard to do it. It's like I love drawing but I'm not sure what I can do with that for a job or anything, so like my plans for the future are basically to just like make a stable income doing something and have like enough free time to just do whatever I want like, I don't know try out some new things like draw- like I don't know like painting like sewing and like other stuff, um

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Uh idk like what type of end should I give...

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Um...i don't know maybe talk about talk about how *background convo* no, I'm thinking about how to like bring it closer into like, I'm assuming by like an ending she means like bringing it over into the future so I guess like, I guess like how like what do you plan on doing with it- wha- what do you plan on doing with your art in the future would probably be a good place to start I think.

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Ok um, what I plan on doing with my art in the future well, I don't know, I do have some like aspirations, like things I want to do but I don't know, it seems like a pretty far off dream? Like for some of them, 'cause I know I'm gonna like keep drawing but like there's somethings that I wanna do like, I wanna make I wanna make like um some animations of my characters and I know I kinda wanna make like an opening? You know like a cartoon show like an opening like I wanna do one of that but with my characters and like that's why I'm taking a media class, like emerging media so I can kinda learn the basics stuff and based on that I can go off on my own and like try to animate and then like find a music program and like mix some random sounds together

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Like, yeah *cough* and that's like for my personal gain and I don't really, I'm not sure if I'd ever do this like I know I'll do this one day but I won't, I'm not sure if I'll ever post it online because I get like, really anxious because I- I don't want people to criticize it and I don't want people to um, 'cause um in the ani- like in the anime/oc drawing world like people stealing other people's characters is pretty like common I would say it happens like quite like a decent amount of time

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so because of that I don't want to post like, like post my animation of my characters. Um another thing I really wanna do it um, make a webcomic but the thing is it's gonna take so much work and I'm not really confident that I'll write like a good story because I feel like if I'm gonna write a story and it's gonna be a webcomic

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I want it to be like it, it's gonna be like one of the most amazing stories you've ever read, like I want it to leave like a lasting impact on somebody and like, yeah.

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So like those are the two things I wanna do. One thing- another thing that I really wanna do is like, I wanna like, I wanna try and do like traditional media more because, right now, 'cause right now I'm mostly do digital art. 'cause like I bought supplies for like traditional media I just never got around to using them because I have like those prism colored like colored pencils and like those copic markers that I never really like actually used so it's kinda like a waste of money.

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I think that works.